


First time for everything

by arcana



Series: Volleyball au where cis people are rare and everything is mostly alright [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, so i'm here to give that to you, the haikyuu tag needs more nb koushi, we also need more gr8 cisboyfriend daichi so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-28
Updated: 2014-08-28
Packaged: 2018-02-15 02:18:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2212041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arcana/pseuds/arcana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I just." Koushi closed his eyes, preparing himself. "Daichi, I'm not. I'm not a boy."</p>
            </blockquote>





	First time for everything

**Author's Note:**

> for the first time prompt for day 5. i spent like an hour writing this from koushi's pov and then i remembered an idea i had in school so i started over lmao  
> i wasn't gonna write daisuga porn and i just really, really like agender koushi, so.  
> also sorry if i got s/t wrong in your eyes, i'm basing this largely off my own experience and obviously gender is different for everybody, so!! that probably means i'm projecting but it's okay bc it's still nb koushi you know.  
> also i really do need prompts for the last day and just prompts in general bc i'm gonna try to write at least twice or 3 times a week so at this point it doesn't even have to be daisuga. if you've got any send them to tumblr user shimizuraiko (aka me)

There was something very hard pressed against Daichi’s forehead. It was hard, and it was uncomfortable, and it was _vibrating_ , and this was not the way Daichi had wanted to be woken up from a nap he hadn't even decided to take. Actually, when did he fall asleep in the first place?

He lifted his head slowly and looked around. He was in his room, of course he was, sitting at his desk with a drool riddled history worksheet right where his head had been a minute ago. Gross. Daichi frowned, turning his head to get a look at his nightstand. The clock on it read 8:34, which was pretty okay, considering, but then again Daichi didn't remember how much homework he had completed before dozing off like that, so that could be pretty bad as well. Honestly, it was kind of worrying how he had no recollection of even putting his head down. What if he had hit his head against the desk? He could have a concussion, for all he knew. Could you even get a concussion for things like that? And where the hell was that god _awful_ buzzing coming from?

Lifting one of the papers, he found his phone just in time for the call to get missed. Damn it. He hadn't even read the caller ID. Daichi supposed he could just unlock the phone and see who it had been, but at the same time, he had just woken up, and he wasn't really in the mood to have a conversation with anyone right now. Shrugging, Daichi put the device back on the desk and followed it with his head. If it was really urgent, they’d call back.

They did call back. Daichi was annoyed only until he read the caller ID, when he realised that there was one person he’d always be willing to talk to.

“Suga!” More awake now, Daichi sat up straighter, resting his chin on his unused palm. “Sorry I missed your first call, I was a little bit asleep. What’s up?”

His reply didn't come immediately. Suga was definitely there, Daichi could hear him inhale quickly, and he found it odd that he didn't speak right away. He was the one who had called.

Finally, a voice came through the phone line. “Daichi,” Suga sounded a little breathless, “hi. Uh, sorry for calling so late…” It sounded like he had more to say, so Daichi waited. It was a moment before his boyfriend continued. “Um. Would you mind if I came over right now? I know it’s late, sorry. We have school tomorrow, too. I don’t have sleep over, just. Just for a little bit?” He sounded hesitant, and that struck something inside of Daichi.

Something was definitely off. Suga never used that careful, cautious tone around him anymore. They had been best friends for years at this point, and their one year anniversary had passed like two months ago. They were far from hiding things from each other.

“Of course you can. Sleep over too, if you like. We can just walk together in the morning.” Daichi tried to keep his voice light and happy. If something really was wrong, he’d rather have Suga sleep here where he could keep him safe anyway. “Do you need me to come get you, or are your parents going to drive you here? I’m sure my mom wouldn't mind having to—”

“Actually,” Suga interrupted. He coughed. “Actually, I’m… kind of already here?” 

“What?” 

Daichi could see the driveway from his bedroom window and took no time leaping from the desk chair to it. It was dark, and his face almost had to be pressed up against the glass to find what he was looking for, but lo and behold, there was his boyfriend, Sugawara Koushi, hand raised in a lame greeting with some kind of bag at his feet. Daichi could be wrong, but from here, it looked like he had been crying. 

Muttering a quick “One second” into the microphone, Daichi all but raced downstairs to the front door. If Suga was crying, something had to be Bad. Wrong. Very, very Wrong. The only thing that stopped him from crashing his way down the staircase was that his parents would come out and yell at him.

He threw open the door. Despite whatever foreboding thing he was feeling, he smiled slightly at Suga’s wide, surprised, eyes, like he hadn't thought Daichi would open the door for him. He looked like he was having some kind of inner battle which ended when he took a step toward Daichi.

After that, all his steps came increasingly faster than the last. His bag was left on the floor where Daichi had seen it from upstairs, Suga instead favouring throwing his arms around Daichi and burying his face into his neck.

Daichi’s smile fell when he felt wetness where Suga’s eyes should be. 

“Sorry,” Suga was murmuring into him. “Sorry, sorry for just showing up like this, I just—” his voice cracked, and a larger-than-it-should-have-been piece of Daichi’s heart withered away on the spot. “I just, I need—”

“Shhhhh,” Daichi stroked his hair. He had an irrational need to look at Suga’s face, to look into his eyes and make sure he was all there, so he pulled back and did just that. His eyes were light and wet with tears, and more of Daichi’s heart crumbled to the ground. “Let’s get you inside, and then you can tell me what happened, okay? I’ll get your bag,” he added when he Suga shifted in its direction. “You just go upstairs, okay Suga?” His lip wobbled when he nodded and he let out a quiet noise that sounded remarkably like a sob.

Something was definitely horribly, terribly wrong.

He nudged Suga lightly in towards the stairs. He knew where Daichi’s room was by now, but Daichi went and retrieved his bag as quickly as he could anyway. He needed Suga to calm down, talk to him, and be okay again, and he needed that to happen as soon as possible.

Suga was sitting rigidly on his bed by the time he got back upstairs. His head hung low enough that Daichi could only see the tip of his nose through his hair. He dropped Suga’s bag lightly by the door, which he now saw had been haphazardly stuffed with clothes and bathroom essentials. So Suga had come over here, late at night and unannounced, with a packed bag and a seeming intent to stay wherever he had ended up.

Had Suga run away?

Daichi contemplated sitting down next to him on the bed for a split second before deciding against it. He wanted to see his boyfriend’s face, so he kneeled in front of him, took his hands, and asked, “Will you tell me what happened?”

Suga took a deep, shuddering breath, clenching his eyes shut for a moment. This made Daichi frown. If he was having trouble breathing, should he wait until he calmed down to talk to him? That was probably what he was supposed to do. That was probably what _Suga_ would do, if their situation were reversed. 

Daichi, however, was not Suga. He needed to know what happened. 

He squeezed Suga’s hands, at least. “I need you to tell me what happened, Sug—”

“Don’t!” Suga exclaimed, startling Daichi into silence. Some of his tears had flicked onto Daichi’s cheeks with how fast he had opened his eyes. “Please, please don’t call me that, Sugawara, Koushi, anything is fine, just not Suga. _Please_ , Daichi, don't call me, Suga, don't, just—” He hiccuped, interrupting himself.

He looked so, so hurt, eyes bright with new tears following premade paths down his face. “I won’t. I promise.” Daichi had to make him calm down before he started hyperventilating or something. “I won’t call you S—... that, so please, tell me what happened.”

Slowly, his breaths began coming deeply to him, but they still sounded harsh. He should have waited.

Daichi didn't want to leave him by himself, but he figured some alone time might help. Daichi squeezed his hands as tightly as he could before letting go and rising to his feet. “I’ll go get you something to drink.”

The sentence had barely left his lips when he felt fingers wrap strongly around his wrist. “Daichi,” his boyfriend, Koushi, now (Sugawara was too formal), whispered. He turned back. “Daichi, I need to tell you something. I need to tell you something, but I need you not laugh.” His voice broke again, and his shoulders slumped further down. Daichi saw tears land on his legs. 

He crouched down in front of him and took his hands again. “I’m here,” is all he said.

Koushi inhaled deeply, like he had on the phone, and opened his mouth to speak. “Daichi, I don’t know if you’ve ever heard someone say that… that there are more than two genders.” The last part left him in a rush. Daichi didn't know if that was good or bad. Koushi continued, “I don't know if you’ve heard that, but I need you to know that it’s true, and that it’s very real, and that it’s not something to be laughed about—” Daichi held onto him tighter, even though he didn't understand quite where this was going. He did, however, understand that Koushi speed talking was not good. Holding his hands seemed to work well enough. 

"I just." Koushi closed his eyes, preparing himself. "Daichi, I'm not. I'm not a boy."

Daichi tried his best to contain his look of shock. It seemed to work pretty well, considering Koushi couldn't see through his eyelids. 

Daichi had heard of this kind of thing in passing before, but it had never really been close enough to him that he formed an opinion on it. Now though, it was perhaps as close as something could get to him without involving him himself. He didn't really know… well, he didn't really know anything about this, but the least he could say right now was that it had to be real. If this had upset Koushi to the point that he might have run away from home for whatever reason, then this was definitely, totally real.

But if Koushi wasn't a boy, then... "...Are you a girl?" It was an honest question. 

Koushi chuckled. He did his best to make it sound the least bitter as possible. "No, Daichi. No, I'm not a girl. Thank you, though. For not questioning me." He sounded a little more steady than he did before. A piece of Daichi's heart stitched itself back together. 

"Would you... mind telling me what you are, then?" Daichi really didn't want to offend him. 

It seemed to spark some kind of happiness in Koushi, though. "Y-yeah! Of course, uhm. I'm, well. It's kind if a neutral thing? Agender, I mean. Uhm. I don't necessarily have a gender? I’m just. Not a boy or a girl. That’s how I see it, anyway."

Daichi nodded slowly. He supposed that made sense. "So. If you're not a guy. Am I supposed to call you 'he', or...?"

"No! Uhm. Use 'they', please." Koushi drew his—their—hand away from one of Daichi's to wipe their eyes. "That's why I said not to call me Suga. It's too masculine, and my parents..." He pursed his lips. "I told them tonight. They—they laughed at me."

That made Daichi confused and kind of angry. He'd met Koushi's parents plenty of times, and they always reminded him of Koushi. Kind and caring, they didn't seem like the type of people to laugh at something that was so obviously important to their kid. And considering Koushi had pretty much ran away from home, it was pretty damned important.

Now that they was down to just sniffles, Daichi thought it was a good time to get off the floor and wrap his arms around Koushi. He figured he might be able to keep the tears at bay with some hugs of his own. Daichi sat as close as possible, wanting to make sure Koushi knew he was here for them. 

"My mom," they went on, "she told me I was being ridiculous. She said I was making a silly choice, and no one would take me seriously if I told them that. I tried to explain to her it wasn't a choice. I did, and she understands _us_ , so I don't get why she didn't get this..." Koushi sniffed, leaning their head against Daichi's body. 

Daichi wished he had something comforting to say. This was usually something Koushi would do for him, and he was kind of at a loss of words. “Have you told anyone else?” He asked, as delicately as possible.

Koushi shook their head. “Not besides you and my parents. Tonight was my first time.”

Daichi nodded thoughtfully, chin brushing the top of Koushi’s head. “Do you want to do anything about the team? I mean, they still call you by—that other name, and if it makes you uncomfortable…”

He laughed a bit, but this time it just sounded tired. “I don’t think I can think about that right now, Daichi.”

Smiling a little sadly, Daichi rubbed at Koushi’s back. “We’ll deal with it later, then.” 

Koushi sighed. “At least one of them turned out alright.”

“I really don’t know much about this, so I might say some stupid things, and I apologise for that in advance for that, but I do promise to do my best.” Daichi kissed the top of their head, then laid both himself and Koushi down beneath the covers.

He felt more than heard Koushi’s quiet “Thank you” mouthed lightly against his collarbone. Koushi turned his full body into Daichi’s and stayed there, wrapped snuggly around their boyfriend, for a long, long time.


End file.
